There are many reasons why awarding the World Cup in 2022 to the tiny nation of Qatar is ridiculous, not least of which is that temperatures average over 100 degrees in the summer, which are not exactly the kind of conditions in which one should be running around a field for 90 minutes. But fear not sports fans, the Qataris are working on the solution, a remote controlled cloud.
Yes, you read that correctly. According to reports, Qatar is working on developing and manufacturing a solar powered artificial cloud that would hover over the playing fields and provide shade from the blistering sun. (To be fair, the also say they will air-condition the outdoor stadiums, another claim I don’t have much confidence in.) I think it is time for Qatar to stop these pipe dreams and turn to the tried and tested Holodeck technology found on the USS Enterprise. I mean, we already know how well that thing works! That way, instead of a scorching desert the teams can play in any conditions they like. Maybe the pregame coin toss can determine who kicks off and which team gets to pick the settings for the Holodeck.
No matter what the Qataris claim they can devise to solve the issue of temperature the fact remains the players will be playing in a furnace. FIFA better hope Qatar actually comes up with some seriously fascinating inventions to capture the attention of the media because we can be certain the heat will reduce the quality of play to something resembling snails migrating.
by Dave McBride