Missing Link Discovered in Ireland

A team of archaeologists and anthropologists, working on the site of an abandoned public house in the village of Knockaderry in County Limerick, announced today that they have uncovered the elusive missing link between Christmas and Easter. The remains of this strange humanoid creature was found in an old cardboard box tucked away in the attic of the former Gilhooley House.

This came as welcomed news to the folks at Guinness who are attempting the have Saint Patrick’s  Day recognized as an official holiday in the United States; but whom are facing stiff resistance from the Vatican. Church officials in Rome are citing an obscure edict from the Council of  Trent which states that in order for a religious observance to become a state sanctioned holiday it must have a secular biological mascot, e.g. (exempli gratia) Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. In theory Halloween,(All Souls Day) and St. Valentines Day could be recognized because of Cupid and the Great Pumpkin.

When asked if he was surprised by the find, team leader Dr. Mac McCrackin, from the Edinburgh Institute of  Scholarly Advanced Academics – Glasgow Campus, said that he was more surprised to find an abandoned public house in Knockaderry.

The official classification for this new genus is “Viridis Vir Instituo  Tabernus” which translates from Latin to mean “Green Man Found in a Tavern” but most of the team just call him  Paddy.

Paddy O'Pine

Posted by: Chris Poh, American Public House Review

 

 

 

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